Leadership Doesn’t Have to Be Loud: Redefining Authority for Women

For many women, leadership doesn’t fail because of a lack of skill or ambition.

It falters at the point where how authority is recognised no longer aligns with how they naturally lead.

From early on, most leadership models women encounter are shaped by norms that prize speed, certainty, and visibility. Many women adapt to those norms — often successfully — but at a cost:

self-doubt, over-preparation, and a persistent feeling of misalignment.

This isn’t about confidence. It’s about context.

Why Women Hold Back — Even at the Highest Levels

The challenge of being recognised as an authority isn’t anecdotal. It’s structural.

Mary Ann Sieghart, author of The Authority Gap, highlights a striking example:

A study of proceedings at the US Supreme Court found that female justices were interrupted three times as often as their male counterparts — and 96% of those interruptions came from men.

When this happens at the highest court in the most powerful nation in the world, it sends a clear signal: being competent isn’t always enough to be granted authority.

Sieghart describes the authority gap like this: women are more often underestimated, patronised, interrupted, talked over, and mistaken for being more junior. Their expertise is questioned more frequently, and when they do hold positions of authority, that authority is more likely to be resisted.

Seen in this light, it becomes easier to understand why many women:

• over-prepare before speaking

• hesitate before putting themselves forward

• wait until they feel “fully ready” — often more ready than required

Not because they lack confidence, but because experience has taught them that credibility is more fragile.

When Leadership Feels Like a Performance

In environments where authority follows a narrow script, leadership can start to feel like something you perform rather than inhabit.

Many women try to adjust:

• speaking louder

• sounding more certain

• moving faster

Sometimes that works. Sometimes it backfires. Often, it creates internal friction — the sense of playing a role that doesn’t quite fit.

The question then becomes not “How do I lead like them?”

but “How do I lead in a way that feels true — and is still taken seriously?”

Redefining Authority: There Isn’t One Right Way

This is where authentic leadership begins.

One of my clients, a Department Director in an international non-profit organisation, put it beautifully:

“The greatest impact of Audrey’s coaching on my leadership was realising that it doesn’t have to be loud, fast, or certain. My quiet clarity, ability to connect, and thoughtfulness are strengths — not traits to compensate for.”

That shift didn’t make her less authoritative.

It made her more grounded, more influential, and more herself.

Authentic leadership isn’t about rejecting existing models — it’s about expanding them. It’s about recognising that authority can look different, and still be effective.

Personal Branding: If the Loud Way Isn’t for You

The same applies to personal branding.

The most visible approach — constant self-promotion, high-volume networking, strong projection — works well for some people. And that’s fine.

But it’s not the only way.

If that approach doesn’t feel aligned, other angles exist.

For example:

• Intentional networking: fewer connections, deeper relationships, individual conversations

• Consistent presence: being recognised for clarity and reliability over time

• Relational influence: building trust through listening and insight

• Selective visibility: choosing moments that matter, rather than all moments

• Narrative ownership: being intentional about how your contribution, role, and value are understood — rather than leaving others to define it for you

These are not “quieter” versions of ambition.

They are different expressions of it.

The key isn’t choosing the right style — it’s finding your style.

An Invitation, Not a Prescription

Many women I work with don’t want to become louder versions of themselves.

They want to become more aligned ones.

Authentic leadership starts with acknowledging the gap between:

• how leadership has been modelled

• and how you naturally think, communicate, and influence

From there, the work becomes one of alignment:

• redefining authority on your terms

• trusting your voice

• allowing yourself to lead without imitation

Leadership doesn’t have to be louder to be stronger.

It has to be yours.

Want Support Exploring Your Own Leadership Style?

If you’re navigating questions of voice, authority, visibility, or personal branding — and want to lead in a way that feels both authentic and credible — that’s exactly what I support women leaders with.

Learn more about my Women in Leadership coaching.